Its OK To Not Be OK :: Chris Kozacek

​​Hey, how’s it going, Chris? I’ve not spoken to you for ages. I thought I’d give you a buzz dude. It’s good to see you, bud. I’m thinking I’m in the middle of planning more conference. So I just want to reach out we’re looking for some Bible passages that really kind of reflect what’s been going on over this last year.

And with you being the head of field with you being kind of that pastoral guy that everyone turns to, I thought my boss as well, you know I thought I’d reach out and say, Hey, have you got any Bible passages that you’ve been studying or that really comes to mind that would really kind of just speak into what’s been going on.

Yeah, there’s some good ones out there. And I actually was studying a little bit today there, but I have one I want to start with really. And a lot of it is because I was thinking of what we’ve been through. Okay. As a world where we’re isolated and, and struggling through life and Zoom’s great.

But that piece is actually connecting with one another. And, and when you fall down yeah. Who’s there to pick you up, who’s there to be with you. So actually funny enough, this one is actually on my computer because I had been looking at it today there, so I’m going to read it, please.

Yeah. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 and 12. So new living verse nine says two people are better off than one for, they can help each other succeed in verse 10. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help, but someone who falls alone is in real trouble, then skipping to verse 12, a person standing alone can be attacked.

But two can stand back to back to conquer three are even better for a triple braided cord is not easily broken. And I think of, I think in that space that it’s so easy when you’re slated to fall down and if no one’s there and I don’t mean in a marriage or anything like that, this is the body of Christ working together.

And I just needed that. I’ve needed it. I’ve needed so many. So I just think that that is a verse that has been important to me and that I love. That’s fantastic. It’s really powerful as well. That would be really speaking to what so many people have been feeling with isolation with lock down with just not having contact with people physical contacts, you know, occasionally zoom and missing our whole community thing.

But I know a lot of people are. Being worrying and a lot of I mean, myself worried, you know, am I gonna catch COVID will I know I’ve even got it. You know, and things like that. So I was wondering, is there a passage that comes to mind that kind of lets us know not to worry or I, you know, what, what have you got back?

Yeah. That is, it’s no secret to a lot of our global family In April, 2019 I faced burnout and, and fell apart now. Span of a week. I was saying goodbye to my kids and my wife. I had ended up in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. It wasn’t, I learned, you know, about panic and anxiety, but there were days and weeks and months that it was hard to get out of bed.

It was hard to move that, that panic and that anxiety was just. All up on me all the time and to have this role and to have a team the way we do, a Martin San doing, you know, the amazing work that you guys do. And, and, you know, I think of the field ministry team and, and what Graham Barker and Jordan Reynolds started like in care and now John self and, and Lindell and prayer and, and, and, like Chris was doing coaching.

And we just, now Kelly’s on the team in pastoral care and. The team that we have is amazing. And they’ve, you’ve all walked with me on those darkest, horrible days. And Corey is there, you know, my, my own wife too, to walk through with me and my kids too, to watch. And it wasn’t until this year that you know, there was a moment where I was like, okay, I know what God is working on.

I know the goodness and the trust, but man, so, you know, I’m going through all that. And then the world shuts down. And, and I’m isolated and stuff here and we’re meeting together and you know, trying to, to walk on and YFC as a whole. Has been incredible to me to stick with me on those days.

And I don’t know, you know, who else has experienced and gone through burnout and struggle and worry and depression and anxiety. It was horrible. It was torture. It is torture. Like God’s still using it to use things, but YFC walked with me to have my boss, Dave Dave Brereton to love and care and allow that time to get better.

And so. I say all that to bring it back to there’s a passage of scripture. I actually have it here. It’s my bookmark of all times because I would go to the park or I’d sit here and I just, I meditate on this, especially in the last couple of years. It’s Matthew six, starting in verse 25.

The title is, do not worry. When I. I couldn’t help it. God broke, allowed something to break me because it was time to fix some things and my own control issues. I thought I knew better and to trust him and know that he was good. And so in this first starting in verse 25, therefore I tell you not to worry about your life, what you eat or drink or about your body.

Are you aware? Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes. Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or store away in barns. And yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they, who of you by worrying can add a single hour. To his life.

As I stopped there, that was for me worrying about how to keep my life going and how to avoid all the bad and the hardships. I stayed on that verse a lot, but we’ll keep going. And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin yet. I tell you. That not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these, if that is how God clothes, the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire.

Will he not clothe you much more? Oh, you of little faith. So do not worry about saying what shall we eat or what shall we drink or what shall we wear for the pagans run after all these things and your heavenly father? That you need them, but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about it. Each day has enough trouble of its own. That’s a very, very powerful passage. It reminds me, it reminds me of a nugget of wisdom that was once given to me by a teenager. It was strange that when we worked for an organization called Youth for Christ and this, this, this, a young lady came up to me one day and she said, I’ve just, I’ve just learned something.

I’ve just discovered something amazing. And I said, what is it? And she said, don’t tell God how big your problems are. I was like, all right. She says, she says, tell you a problem. How big you’ll go. And I was like, well, and that says this passage, isn’t it. It’s just saying, don’t worry about today.

Don’t even concern yourself with making sure that you have all you need for tomorrow because I’ve got it. I’ve got it covered. Don’t tell me how many problems you’ve got. Tell your problems how big your God is. I like it. Amen. That’s a powerful verse and one, one in which that kept me going and that I needed because I’m always, I was always worried about today and tomorrow and what it would look like and trying to control it all.

And I lost that and we as a world, lost that. So, I mean, talking about pushing forward, you I mean, in your, I suppose, the darkest place, when you were driving yourself to a E thinking that to the emergency room, thinking that that was it. I mean, if you could stop yourself, And in the middle of the street, or before you got into the car, I now give yourself like a nugget of wisdom something to, just to kind of help you during your journey at that point.

Is this something that you would actually say to yourself or with a bit of wisdom that you would give to yourself that would, and would you listen. Hmm. I’d hope that I listened now. The thing was, is my, I mean, as I said, and as you know, I mean, you were, you were here after it came. You watched me in a lot of this space.

You stayed in my house, you know, and funny, you were here a week before, but the balance of my life. And the ways I’ve understood through counseling that I’m not alone. This happens to a lot of us in this age and this space and you know, wife and now teenage Sean now and an 11 year old Aaron 11 year old girl.

So life got busier and the ministry got busier. My work life balance and how I took care of myself. And, and all that was so, so out of whack was so. Wrong. And, I thought I could control it all and just do it all. And I thought, I need to make sure everyone is happy. I’m doing well. And I, Dave, like I have this role that like the rule that I’ve always wanted and loved, and I finally get there.

And a fall apart, my whole life crashes. And I just, I wish I could go back and be like one that balance is important from the care from letting others care for me to, you know, rest and, and you know, we go back to the first, first, you know, to, to allow people to walk with me. I had fallen because I had isolated myself too, just to get everything done and to do everything.

And then I have a feeling, many of our staff are national directors and you know, our people around the world, like a number of them are, have experienced this too. Maybe experiencing it, now I have gone through it. I’ve had some great chats with other people along the way. Who’ve, who’ve been there, who’ve gone through it.

Who were my own. Mentors, even my own team home care and people outside of, of the team around the world and were like, I’m there, or I’ve been there or now I’m going through that. So, yeah, I, I, that’s one of the reasons we’re so passionate, why C2 is in the strategic plan, it’s about holistic care about seeing our staff healthy.

And that’s not just, just just counseling or we’re talking, you know mind, soul, body emotions holistically. And that the mission is so simple. But it’s the Lord. Who does it through you? I tried to do it on my own strength. I tried to do it the way I thought it should be done. I cannot control anything anymore.

I know it’s the Lord who’s in control and I can trust him. I did not trust him. Well, I confess and I worked, I struggled through thinking he’s good. And those are two things that he was like, not only did he bring me to my knees, but lower. And it’s been I never, ever want to have to go through something like that.

Again. I never want anyone else to have to go through it, but I would not have. Broken without him deciding it was time to work on it and we’re going to go through some brokenness, Chris. Okay. Okay. I surrender. So I’m hopeful that, you know, as, as we look for, I go to character. I go to my own team. There are many who don’t let me fall down alone and my own family.

And I think through the young people of the world that are now locked down and stress and anxiety and panic and depression we’re already here. And young people in suicide rates too. And, now to be locked down to be isolated, social media can only do so much FaceTime, zoom you know, Instagram and tick dock and all that.

Like all the places that they’re at, like there isn’t, there isn’t that connection piece for them like being one-on-one and the gospel that is given to them, the hope and the belief that God. Can bring you through and he will bring people to you. Like I, I, so for our staff to be healthy to minister, to our young people who we want to see healthy in them to see God use them to God, to see God bring them unto himself and salvation in Jesus.

So I’m big in that, but I’m big in that too. Like that’s something I’ve always loved, but I’m also big on that because. I need it and I’ve gone through it and I’m a broken vessel. Now I praise God for bring me through. And I hope, and I pray that they will continue to use me for whatever days he has and I will praise him in those days.

And then I will walk on whenever the day comes that it’s time to go home. But until then, I don’t worry about tomorrow. Today’s what I’m given. So let’s use it and let him. Work through me, get out of the way and let him work. Fantastic. Hi, Chris, I’m going to go get some more coffee. I feel I need to sit and reflect on everything, all the wisdom that you’ve just imparted to me and I have a responsibility.

So I’m going to go. Thank you so much. I’m going to get. Probably Scott will throw some of the links to the different pages and resources and chat here on zoom and for the guys on YouTube and Facebook as well. So we can all access that might even throw it on the discord server as well. But Hey, Chris, it’s been a real pleasure speaking to you today.

Thank you so much for your wisdom and have a great day. You too. And thank you to you for walking with me and all you do, and thank you to all, you know, all the rest of the team and all the people around the world who have prayed and walked with me and pray and walk through their own people. It’s awesome, man.

Good. Talk to you, buddy. Good to talk to you. Speak to you soon. Bye. For now

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